A Couple of Amusing Talking Points on Game Fish

Talking Point #1: The Measurement of Game Fish

It is often said that fishermen are habitual liars, albeit not malicious ones. In fact, all anglers do, at times, spin rather unbelievable "fish tales", embellishing their stories in varying degrees (depending on who they are trying to impress at the time) with exaggerations of the size of fish caught or lost.

To be fair to anglers, however, it is important to recognize that few, if any, are trained in the science of measurement. Compounding the problem is the fact that most fishermen are among the world's worst estimators, guilty of not only stretching the truth a bit, but the size of fish as well.

 As far as the measurement of game fish goes, arbitrary measures are pretty much standard with most anglers. In assessing the credibility of fish stories, be reminded that the purported size of a trophy fish has little or nothing to do with the actual fish. Instead, it is more a product of the circumstances surrounding the catch.

Claims about trophy fish (real or imagined) depend on one's perspective - whether you actually caught the fish (or just netted it for someone), whether you are going to be in the picture (or just taking it); and, whether or not the catch was witnessed by another angler (or anyone with an accurate, standardized scale).

Always, believe a second, impartial party when judging the credibility of any fish tale. Have serious doubts about trophy fish that were "released" (especially if no photos were taken), or the "big one that got away" (no matter what the circumstances).

Someone - a fisherman no doubt - once said, "You can't believe everything you hear." When it comes to claims of the size of trophy game fish, you mustn't believe anything you hear.

Fish stories, like dreams, require expert analysis and interpretation, although there is nothing Freudian in an angler's wishful thinking. A simple guide for determining the actual measurements of fish follows.

First, determine the reliability of the story teller. Never take die-hard fishermen, their fishin' buddies, kids, or other inexperienced anglers, guides, tournament pros, Americans, tackle reps or sport fishing writers at their word. Only the clergy, CO's, weigh-in officials and taxidermists can be entrusted with measuring fish accurately. 

A second common phenomenon is that of "enlargement" - i.e. situations and / or circumstances enhance the size of fish. Fish always get bigger when they break the line, get away, or follow a lure to the boat.

Fish have a habit of "growing" long after they have been cleaned and eaten, as time passes and / or as stories are re-told. Fish always get bigger when they have been released.

Have you ever noticed that when a "legal" musky is 40 inches long, every 34 - 39-inch musky became a "legal" fish by the end of the day?

For shock value, fish size must exceed audience expectations (except for that one guy who claims to have caught one larger). If photos are taken, fish must be held out - toward the camera - for clarity. If another pose is used, the photos never seem to turn out.

A pox afflicting fish stories is the strange phenomenon of "reduction" - i.e. situations or circumstances which, later, make fish appear smaller than when they were caught.

Fishermen especially fear this as-yet-unexplained atrophication - and understandably so, since it casts serious doubts on both one's fishing prowess and credibility.

In their own defense, anglers always argue that, somehow, fish get smaller when they are mounted by a taxidermist, kept in the livewell, measured by someone else, taken home for others to see, compared to the other guy's fish, or photographed.

In my own experience, the latter rings true. When I am photographed with fish, they almost always appear undersized, emaciated and discolored. I am pretty much convinced that the negatives are being retouched. When I photograph my fishin' pals with those same-sized (oftentimes much smaller) fish, their catches somehow appear trophy-sized by comparison. It just ain't so.

Innumerable measurement inaccuracies should underline the need for a simple, standardized system for measuring game fish. Such a system might eliminate the necessity for enlargement, minimize the embarrassment of reduction, and negate outright lies and BS.

The only problem? At the tackle shop or local watering hole, what would the "boys" debate when a big one was caught or, heaven forbid, lost at boat side? Who knows?

Maybe it's best to leave well enough alone and, instead, try to sharpen our interpretation skills. Better yet, each of us should work at our story telling technique so as not to be outdone by the next guy. I'll bet mine is bigger than yours!

Talking Point #2: What’s the Perfect Game Fish?

Any serious angler worth his tackle box could complete this oft-quoted saw without a moment's hesitation ... "the smallmouth bass" ... a.k.a. the black bass, brown bass, green bass, redeye bass, Oswego bass, green trout, smallie or bronzeback. Micropterus dolomieu to be scientifically correct. Mini but mighty.

Little wonder that the smallmouth bass ranks so highly among Canada's sportfish. Besides being willing hitters of both artificial lures and live baits, smallmouths often accentuate the challenge and experience of catching them with explosive top water hits, spectacular aerial displays, persistent and generally unpredictable escape strategies.

It is difficult to adequately describe the special triumph of lippin' a good one. Unforgettable, too!

Although widespread across the southern tier of every province except Newfoundland, the smallmouth bass would undoubtedly secure the # 1 ranking among anglers (currently enjoyed by walleyes) if it were more widely available, especially further north.

Often found close to shore, in shallow water, tight to structure and cover, locating smallmouth bass is usually easily accomplished. Once found, anglers can fish bronzebacks just about any way they like - with topwater plugs, soft plastics, live-bait rigs, crankbaits, trolling, casting, and jigging.

Canadian smallies, while slow growers, reach world-class proportions - the Canadian record fish from Birchbark Lake, ON, pulled the scales down to 9.84 pounds - and 6, even 7-pound bass are caught throughout their range every season.

Smallmouth bass are both excellent live-release candidates and widely savored table fare. Seemingly indifferent to the weather and waves, these incredible game fish seem always to be on the bite and obligingly entertain river anglers, blue-water walleye trollers and worm dunkers alike. 

Given that Lake Erie is the undisputed best smallmouth bass lake in Canada - maybe the world - in terms of both numbers of bass and size (the current world live-release record is a Lake Erie smallie), it seems destined to produce the next Canadian record fish - soon.

Lots of bass; trophy bass; smallmouth bass - maybe the ultimate sportfish - wouldn't you agree?